Digging In Sand

I go to these peoples houses and they are always so organized and clean and smell soooo good. Even when they aren't expecting me! It just kills me. I just want to know how do they do that? I mean I could do that but I would not get to spend any time with my family. I know I know I have 5 kids (that REFUSE to pick up after there selves) but still there is no reason I shouldn't be able to walk into a room in my house at any given time and it be half way clean.

I am not saying my house is the dirtiest in the world, but by no means are my towels all folded nice and neat and all the forks and spoons going the same way etc....We do have 7 people living here, but I do wish that I could get just a little bit more order around in this place.
I have tried the chart board, I have tried chores, i have tried allowances, I have tried just doing it myself, NOTHING works. Dude I need some help!
It really doesn't help that we live in such a small apartment. Maybe when we get to New Mexico it will get better, we will have a bigger place and the weather will be nicer so the the kids can go outside more often. Its just really hard for all of the burden of both the kids (all 5 of them) and the house, plus cooking, paying bills, and all the other errands that need to be done be on me! Jeff works and he works hard, shit he has been to war 3 times. So I don't expect a lot out of him, and he sure don't give whats not expected lol.
Take this week for instance I clean house all day while fighting off the kids and just praying they would hurry up and take a nap, then at night I am so tired that I don't want to play with them, I want to sit and watch a movie on the couch with my husband and my glass of wine. Yes I feel good because my house is clean, there are no dirty dishes in the sink, the floors are swept and moped and the laundry is (halfway) caught up. But I feel like a total jackass because I don't even think I have said 2 words to my kids all day except "hold on", "take it in there I just cleaned that", "put it in the dishwasher", "wait mommy is cleaning", "get your sister to do it"...........I feel bad!
So today I said "damnit the house is just gonna have to be messy". Ramie the boys and I have played all day, we made forts, we played with Kamryn's wolverine gloves, we played dress up, I read books, put make up on Ramie and just layed in the floor doing the airplane with them. Now its only 1pm and they are taking a nap! I got to fix lunch (Hamburger Helper) Jeff's favorite, which made him happy. I don't feel like such a looser mom and I don't feel like I have been "Digging In Sand" all day.